What Is My attractiveness

What Is My attractiveness

Wrinkle Around Eyes - What Is My attractiveness

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I am stripped of the war paint on my face and my skin lies naked against the lilac colored pillow case. It is early morning and my sweet husband Johnnie is snuggled next to me. We are pillow to pillow and face to face. He grins his handsome smile and tells me I am beautiful. It has taken me years to "believe" what he is saying is true. It has taken growing into my own sense of self to finally comprehend what a blessed compliment that unmistakably is.

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Wrinkle Around Eyes

The wrinkles on my face are moderately edging to the exterior and age spots are graphic to his eye and yet he says I am beautiful. That is a statement that comes right from the heart, and living within the truth of my own heart is when life is lived the truest and purest.

Finally accepting this true and tender moment of beauty is a feeling I want to hold on to forever. How do I keep this insight forefront in my thoughts as I moderately rise from bed and make my steps out into the world?

Everywhere colse to me I am surrounded with advertising of what is said to be beautiful. Buy this or that goods and it will take years of your appearance. And if it does take years off your appearance does that determine the restlessness in your soul? If it does not do as promised, where does that leave you and what vicious roller coaster do you continue to ride? If one continually searches for the fountain of youth, one misses out on the arrival of age and wisdom.

Why would I want to take years of my face when I worked so hard to get to this point in my life? The lines on my face show my estimation and zest for life; my blood, sweat and tears I poured forth into accepting me for who I am. As I fight to come to be stronger and am determined to just be me I turn the magazine page and see a young, vibrant, vivacious, bouncing starlet development her way over the beach. Yes, okay, that is beauty; she is young and carefree, life yet to be lived. If I could get inside her mind, would it be filled with daunting thoughts of imperfection- the same thoughts that filled mine many years before? Is this young woman living out beauty agreeing to others, trying to keep up, trying to do what community says she should do? On the advertising page, "imperfections" are air brushed out to give us the illusion of how we should all look. Who decided that was beauty? If that decision had not been made, how would it affect our community today?

For me, I think I would have lived more fully. I would have lived life as I felt it should be lived, not as others thinkable, of me or what the Tv, movies or magazines defined as beauty. How much heartache would I have saved myself? I shudder to think, but at the same time, I am grateful to have learned to accept myself via my mind and soul instead of my body. With this new found acceptance my thoughts have quieted and my existence is more peaceful.

It used to be difficult for me to hear someone tell me I am pretty. I would feel as if I needed to live up to their definition of pretty at all times and for the rest of my life. If someone saw me without my make-up, would I be less of a human being? As the years have unfolded, it is easier for me to live the statement, "less is more." Still, it is a rare opening to catch me without splashes of color painted upon my face. Most days I have whittled down the war paint to a tube of mascara and a pinch of blush helping me to go out into a collective that tends to judge you at face value. These days I spend less time worrying about what others think of me, giving me a careful insight to all the true beauty of what life has to offer. That perspective has led me to gain a beauty within me and about me that attracts to my life definitions and observations of life that so many overlook.

For me, the beauty of life has come to be a deeper spiritual relationship with God, nature, house and friendship. I am more consciously aware that we are what we think. This is a conviction of opinion every day as I place definite affirmations in my mind of what I believe to be beauty. With a new sense of direction and purpose I am able to unmistakably affect those colse to me, bringing a beauty into my life that I welcome with open arms.

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